COGCOA Moontree
 

Cultural Temperature Scale

Cold isn't just the level of the mercury in the thermometer. For us it's a way of life.

°F °C Description
+70 +21 Hawaiians go into hibernation.
Canadians live in their bathing suits.
+50 +10 New York tenants try to turn on the heat.
People from Ontario plant gardens.
+40 +4 Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Albertans sun bathe.
+35 +2 Italian cars don't start.
+32 0 Distilled water freezes.
+30 -1 You can see your breath.
You plan a vacation in Florida.
Politicians begin to worry about the homeless.
Manitobans eat ice cream.
+25 -4 Lake Ontario water freezes.
Californians weep pitiably.
Cat insists on sleeping on your bed.
+20 -7 New York water freezes.
San Franciscans start thinking favourably of L.A.
Green Bay Packers fans put on T-shirts.
+15 -10 You plan a vacation in Acapulco.
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.
B.C. residents go swimming.
+10 -12 Politicians begin to talk about the homeless.
Too cold to snow.
You need jumper cables to get the car going.
0 -18 New York landlords turn on the heat.
Newfoundlanders grill hot dogs on the patio, yum!
-5 -21 You can HEAR your breath.
You plan a vacation in Hawaii.
-10 -23 American cars don't start.
Too cold to skate.
-15 -26 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo.
People from Miami cease to exist.
Canadians lick flagpoles.
-20 -29 Politicians actually do something about the homeless.
People in NWT and Yukon think about taking down the window screens.
-25 -32 Too cold for non-Pagans to kiss.
You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
Japanese cars don't start.
Ottawa Rough Riders head for spring training.
-30 -34 You plan a two week hot bath.
Pilsener freezes.
Bock beer production begins.
NWT residents shovel snow off the roof.
-38 -39 Mercury freezes.
Too cold to think.
Canadians do up their top button.
Calgarians go running with their coats open.
-40 -40 Californians disappear.
Your car insists on sleeping in your bed with you.
Quebecers put on sweaters.
-50 -46 Congressional hot air freezes.
Alaskans close the bathroom window.
Green Bay Packers practice indoors.
-60 -51 Walruses abandon Aleutians.
Sign on Mount St. Helens: "Closed for the Season".
Ontarians put gloves away, take out mittens.
Boy Scouts in Saskatchewan start Klondike Derby.
-70 -57 Glaciers in Central Park.
Hudson residents replace diving boards with hockey nets.
Green Bay snowmobilers organise a trans-lake race to Sault Ste. Marie.
-80 -62 Polar bears abandon Baffin Island.
Girl Guides in Saskatchewan start Klondike Derby.
-90 -68 Edge of Antarctica reaches Rio de Janeiro.
Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 26 miles.
Ontarians migrate to New York thinking it must be warmer south of the border.
-100 -73 Santa Claus abandons North Pole.
Canadians pull down ear flaps.
-173 -114 Ethyl alcohol freezes.
-297 -183 Oxygen precipitates out of atmosphere.
Microbial life survives only on dairy products.
-445 -265 Superconductivity occurs.
-452 -269 Helium becomes a liquid.
-454 -270 Hell freezes over.
-465 -271 Quebec drivers drop below 150 KPH on 400 highways.
Too cold for Wiccans to kiss.
-458 -272 Jean Chretien renounces a campaign contribution.
-460 -273 All atomic motion ceases.
Canadians start saying how it's a tad nippy outside.
Wiccans move Bealtaine indoors.

http://cogcoa.ab.ca/fun/temperature.php Contact Us Last Modified: 2005-12-05
 Hits: 13  Visitors: 2 Popularity: 0.772% 
Valid XHTML 1.0 Transitional Copyright © 1996-2017 Covenant of Gaia Church of Alberta. All rights reserved. Unauthorised duplication of content, graphics or other elements of this site is in violation of international copyright laws. We claim right of authorship and copyright of our work only. Some works on this website are copyrighted by their respective authors and have been reproduced with permission.